Today boys and girls I’d like to share with you my interpretation of a passage of scripture. We’ll go in our bibles to Luke chapter 22, verses 31 and 32. In the words of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ:
“Simon, Simon, listen! Satan has demanded permission to sift all of you like wheat; but I have prayed especially for you Peter—“ (don’t worry, it’s the same guy) “—that your faith and confidence in Me may not fail; and you, once you have turned back again to Me, strengthen and support your brothers in the faith.”
Now I’ve heard that verse a thousand times and I’ve always thought Jesus was saying to Simon-Slash-Peter something like “Hey yeah so, super awkward, the devil has come asking me to sift you like wheat—“ (which I think is something like being utterly and absolutely broken) “— but hey man don’t worry there’s NO WAY I’m gonna let that happen! We’re bros, I’m God, don’t even worry about it you’re chill.” Also in my mind sometimes Jesus sounds like He’s in a SoCal chapter of SigChi— that’s my own personal struggle. But anyway point is: I always thought Jesus was telling Peter that the devil was trying to fuck him up but that He, being God, was going to keep that from happening. And then a couple months ago I realized JESUS NEVER SAID THAT. *shocked emoji face* Instead he says “I pray your faith would not fail”, to which I’m kind of like
In my mind, this is how the actual exchange went:
Jesus: Okay so Simon, listen. The devil came by earlier, he asked if he could really fuck you up. Like reallllyyyyyy rake you over the coals you know, we’re talking complete and absolute devastation here. Maybe physical, maybe emotional. Might be both, I dunno, he seemed like he was in a pretty foul mood.
SP: *obviously distraught* Shit, man seriously? That does not sound good, what did you say?
Jesus: …Okay here’s the thing: I didn’t say no.
SP: WHAT THE FU—
Jesus: Hear me out! Hear me out! Alright it’s true, I didn’t say no, I’m gonna let him have at you, BUT! Here’s what I’m gonna do man, I’m gonna pray for you. I’m gonna pray for you that your faith won’t fail! Good deal right? And hey listen, when you’ve made it through the inevitable hell-fire shitstorm that’s coming your way, encourage your brothers as well. Tell them I’m praying for them too! Stay strong dude *gives hearty pat on the back*
That awkward moment when God has the power to stop something awful from happening to you but lets it happen anyway, am I right? #Yikes. Anyhoo, that’s what I’ve been sitting on this week. And if you too feel like you’re being sifted like wheat by Beelzebub himself, well then. I guess Jesus and I are both praying for you that your faith would not fail. He more than me though, I’ve got my own shit to worry about.
This is the Word of God for us today. Namaste, Peace Up A-town Down.