Okay so we all got our wigs snatched by Beyoncé’s new visual album, right? If you didn’t, I might advise you go see a doctor to find out what the fuck is wrong with you. My Sunday was absolutely destroyed, as I spent the entire day (watched it twice) wrestling with her presentation of love, infidelity, womanhood, black womanhood, family, healing, sexuality, growth, empowerment, and probably eighteen more themes that went over my head because Beyoncé is smarter than me. Favorite part was the adapted quote by Warsan Shire between “Pray You Catch Me” and “Hold Up”. Don’t worry, I’ll share it because I love you all:
“I tried to change.
Closed my mouth more.
Tried to be soft, prettier.
Fasted for 60 days.
Abstained from mirrors.
Abstained from sex.
Slowly did not speak another word.
In that time my hair grew past my ankles
I slept on a mat on the floor
I swallowed a sword
I levitated… into the basement,
I confessed my sins and was baptized in a river.
Got on my knees and said “Amen”, and said I mean—
I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet.
I threw myself into a volcano.
I drank the blood and drank the wine
I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God.
I crossed myself and thought…
I saw the devil,
I grew thickened skin on my feet.
I bathed in bleach and plugged my menses with pages from the Holy Book.
But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know,
Are you cheating? Are you cheating on me?”
WHEW!!! The FIRE y’all! I got a lot to say about this quote and the bullshit women go through for Fuckboys, but because I’m not trynna start fights (at this point in time), imma keep my mouth shut. Maybe when I’m less heated I’ll write something about it, but for now, just know I see y’all motherfuckers. And Beyoncé sees y’all too.
Okay but the most salient feeling I had while experiencing Lemonade was that Beyoncé makes me SO glad to be a black woman. I haven’t always felt that way about being one, and it’s definitely been a work in progress for the last few years. But Beyoncé catalyzes that progress. I feel so fortunate to say I have that shared experience with her – to feel like when she talks about black womanhood I can relate, I can stand under that banner. I feel like I have a voice because she speaks. LOUDLY. She speaks loudly for herself and in doing so, speaks loudly for me. And I am genuinely grateful.